Natural Selection, revisited

"Somebody has just compared you with one of her friends and thinks you are more entertaining. 2 hours ago"

Shit, this means several things: one) I can feel better about myself; two) whatever I do from now until the day my facebook account is canceled will always be more entertaining than whatever sad sop I beat out; three) regardless of what I'm doing, at least I'm not categorizing, organizing and ranking my friends by arbitrarily comparing one picture to another.

Facebook is the 21st century's classist's nostalgia for social darwinism.

Because you're no one if you aren't ranked higher than 5th on "most attractive," "most likely to succeed" and "smartest."

But if Mark Zuckerburg is such a savvy, urbane dude then why aren't there categories for "biggest tool" or "most likely to become addicted to meth/pregnant"? I don't want to share my honorary title with 890 other users, let alone be lumped together in the same category with the co-winners of "biggest camel toe" - at least give me some dignity if others can't have any.

So who the fuck are you? You're being compared right now.

If you'd like I'll rank you myself; leave your name and a decent picture and who knows, you just might be in the running for "most chins."

No this isn't an Abercrombie page

A little clarification.